Tuesday, September 30, 2008

my thoughts on the economy


I think, instead of investing in my 401(K), I should just put all my money into a company that offers to, for a small fee, come over to your house and punch your baby in the teeth and then cut a whole in your couch.

Well, I think I'd have about the same level of success, and at least then I'd be contributing to a small business.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

the doc says I'm a sensitive guy

So, dermographism... which apparently basically means skin so sensitive you can write on it with a fingernail and it leaves a trail. Just another one of those things that sounds much cooler for a comic book then it would in real life.

In real life it means coming back from Walgreens with a giant bag full of various weird stuff in big white bottles.


when Britney got me choked up... in a comedy

So, I was flipping channels the other day (which is flipping about five of them since I still don't have cable)... I stopped on an episode of How I Met Your Mother, mostly because Britney Spears was a guest on it and when you don't have many options ya tend to at least check her out.

The thing is, it caught me off-guard.

The short version of the set-up was that Neil Patrick Harris (aka Doogie) was teasing one of his other friends by pretending that he was going to marry Britney's character. Only Britney wasn't in on the joke. Typical far-fetched sketch comedy misunderstanding thing... till Britney shows how into it she is by going off to call her mom on the cell phone, and says,

"Momma, it finally happened! I just wish Dad was still alive so he could walk me down the aisle."

Ummm, yeah. Cute joke and all. Hit me like a sockful of bricks. Ahh well.

Ya know, side note, I realized I've had posts on Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and now Britney in the last three weeks and I don't think I've had even one filthy reference. I must be slipping.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

The Second Cousin of All Bombs?

I saw a news story the other day, apparently in response to the American "Mother Of All Bombs", the Russians have developed something even more powerful that they're referring to as "The Father of All Bombs".

If this keeps up, I'm wondering what comes next.

I'm thinking "The Gropey, Stale-Cheese Smelling, Half-Shaven Drunken Uncle Of All Bombs".


my impression of....

This might be a new regular feature (I know you're oh-so-excited)...

here's my impression of.... public radio.

"As a reminder, we rely on donations from listeners like you, unlike commercial radio. This reminder was brought to you by the good people at Wheatie-O's. Mmmm, mmm, Wheatie-O's, that's a tasty treat. Now back to the third hour of our look at a local artist in Minneapolis who is having trouble making ends meet in this unappreciative country, despite her fascinating albums based on the mating tones of the Bolivian Fruit Bat..."

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

An important decision, redux

In this time of political discourse, I must ponder.....

Great wicker baskets full of monkey crap, what the hell is wrong with these people?


Yahoo's sharing highlights from a blog espousing the political positions and impressions of...... Lindsay Lohan.

Snorting half of Cali up your nose does not make you an "expert on international relations".