Sunday, November 30, 2008

more impressionism

Hope you're ready for it, because this one's a two-fer...

My impression of television...

And in sports today, this map shows all-the-cities-where-a-team-won. Now, on to 20 minutes of weather!

[CNN] And that's why the candidate's poll numbers are going down. Of course, not as bad as the Seminoles went down. Man, did you see that? Let's go to the tape..." [Weather Channel] It's going to be cold in Wichita. Not as cold as it must seem on the plane back for the Seminoles though...[NBC] tonight's primetime lineup is being preempted so we can show highlights of the Seminoles losing...

Sunday, November 9, 2008

too much pressure!!

As a corollary to the previous post...

even when sitting out by the relaxing water with a nice cool breeze... it's pretty easy to get stressed when you've only got about 10 minutes of battery life on a fully charged laptop. Gee THANKS AnonymousCompany for giving me such stellar resources to work with.

I'm a simple man, of no eccentric demands....

all I ask for is a tall ship, a star to steer her by... and another neighbor who has wireless internet but doesn't know how to lock it.

Is that too much to ask?

Friday, November 7, 2008

kids... don't hit yourself in the knee with sledgehammers!

So, a random thought that came from an even more random conversation... from the "and knowing is half the battle" PSA things on GI Joe...

The message was, "Kids, don't hide in abandoned fridges." "Seriously, don't do it. Don't hide in a fridge you might come across."

Looking back, I realize I got this message a LOT as a kid.

"Hey! You!"
"Who me?"
"Stay the hell away from fridges!"
"What, like, don't get fat eating between meals? Got it."
"No. Random fridges you'd find playing around town. Don't crawl inside them."
"Wow, umm, wasn't tempted to do that, but... thanks. Hey, shouldn't I more, ya know, not be talking to strangers like you?"
"Oh yeah, I guess. Whatever. Just remember, go near a refrigerator and I'll come back here and beat the snot out of you."

I swear, it was just short of Sexual Harassment Panda from South Park coming to tell us in school assemblies that one of the worst things you can do is play in the fridges that apparently dot the fruited plains.

Now, admittedly, I grew up with a pretty sheltered life in Bal Harbour. But I don't recall hardly ever seeing piles of giant fridges lying around in playgrounds and open fields and such.

Maybe it's my swiss cheese Sam leaping memory, but I swear I was told to stay away from fridges way more than I ever heard anything like don't smoke.

Maybe that's where the gut comes from. Me rebelling against GI Joe.

Like I'm going to take advice from someone who couldn't hit the broadside of a barn with a laser-guided-laser thingy. Probably have bad eyesight from playing in fridges.