Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Better living through Night Court Season 15

I'm sure I learned pretty much everything I need to know about the childbirth process from the most informative source ever... 80s and early 90s sitcoms.

Let's see...

* At some point she has to shout "YOU DID THIS TO ME!!!" That's usually right before the last push.

* I have to wear a (tear away) long-sleeved dress shirt so she can rip one sleeve off.

* For some reason I will be sent to go boil water.

* one of the nurses must be heavy-set, black, and not about to take no sass, sugar.

* we have to take as many taxicabs as possible the mile or so from here to the hospital because that's where the baby is usually born. That or in a broken elevator, with a nervous man in a dark business suit.

That pretty much covers it, right?

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Kiddo Klass

Class covers important issues including:

* how to sit in the waiting room smoking cigars whilst all the nasty business is being taken care of

* do you tip the doctor?

* how old does a baby have to be to bring you your slippers?

Monday, March 9, 2015

No more crack before bed

I dreamed that I was having a conversation with a couple of random people walking down the street about how the new Colorado Rockies (MLB) owner is pretty out there... That he's the only one where none of his players are in the union because he doesn't believe in it, so when the looming baseball strike comes they may still be playing.

Also, about how he's been a very vocal voice for legalization of marijuana and wants to allow it throughout his stadium at home games.

I said that like it or not, MLB said they wanted a different and challenging kinda new owner for that team, and here it is.

Mind you, I don't think any of the above is the least bit true, and I have absolutely no idea who the owner or owners of the Colorado Rockies are. Or why I'd be thinking of them in the first place.