Wednesday, December 11, 2013

The big question (no, not Sammy or Dave)

Had an interesting conversation come up in a recent discussion in a community group I was part of. We were taking a look at the generations (millennials, greatest generation, baby boomers, etc.) In this particular conversation we were talking about my own age group... for the sake of this illustration let's say those born between 1973 and 1983.

The question was.... do we ask "The Big Question"?
Obligatory Monty Python reference...

That is to say, does my generation preoccupy ourselves with --- or at least discuss --- What's it all about? Is there a higher power? Why be moral? 

My answer at the time was, generally speaking, no. These are not priorities for my generation. I said we care about two things:

1) Being distracted/entertained... we want the latest games, electronics, Netflix, etc. to occupy our attention and amuse us.

2) Having our individuality recognized and celebrated... well we were raised for decades being told how we were each a beautiful snowflake full of potentiality etc. etc.... we got in the workforce and even if you're 22 with a BA in English, we are special and wanna be heard and challenged and patted on the head, dagummit.

What do you think? Does the 30-40 set think much about "dear 8 pound, 6 ounce baby Jesus"?

If not, is it just because most people don't think about such weighty issues as they start off on what's supposedly adulthood? Or is there more?

Friday, November 22, 2013

This message will self-destruct

Please select a new password. It must consist of between 17 and 19 characters, include at least one number, one capital letter, one roman numeral, a symbol, and the atomic weight of a noble gas.

It cannot contain any letter used in any of your previous 75 passwords. Not typing the letters in the same rhythm they were originally entered will cause your account to lock and your computer to release a noxious gas. Your password will expire every 20 minutes and must never be spoken of again.

Honestly, is there a real rash of ChiComm trying to break into my time entry system to illicitly enter hours on my timesheet in my name?  Errr....

Monday, August 19, 2013

Maybe people were confused what it was going to be about

Battleship director says he's finally figured out why it was a massive flop

Amazingly, the answer STILL isn't "Turns out nobody was even a little bit interested in seeing it."

No. Dude sez it was lack of star power. Cuz, yeah... Liam Neeson in an action flick in early 2012 was slappin' together a real indie no-name kinda cast.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Quick! What color is the bailiff's watchband? It could change everything!

Dear news media,

The following is a list of the 1,000 things I need to hear about the Zimmerman / Trayvon Martin trial:

1. Verdict.

Ummm, actually that's about it. Is Kate Upton going to be there for some reason? No? Okay, then yeah... the outcome.

Hugs and kisses,

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Mutually Assured Corrpution

I've posted another one of my political pieces to Drawlines. This one is called "Better Living Through Mutually Assured Corruption".

Thursday, May 23, 2013

an open letter to...

Dear News Media,
If my social media streams are anything like a representative sample, you all are the only ones who seem to give two craps about the minutia of the jury proceedings in the trial of Jodi Arias.

Hugs and kisses,

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Is it worth 60 Minutes?

So, an NBA player I've never heard of (which, to be fair is probably 85% of the league) came out and is the first active player in a major men's sport to do so. Being the first to do something like that is a huge decision, and of course one that ain't easy...

Enough has been / is being said about that... I'm interested in a ripple.

One athlete, newly signed Dolphins WR Mike Wallace, said on Twitter "I'm not bashing anybody don't have anything against anyone I just don't understand it." "All these beautiful women in the world and guys wanna mess with other guys SMH..."

One little bit of clarification... I'd seen "SMH" to mean so much hate, but I heard this AM that this is more likely shaking my head.

The news media, in a story like this, desperately wants a bad guy. There's only so much life, and very little conflict (woohoo conflict!) in a news story if it's met only with active and former players and celebs universally coming out and all saying something to the extent of "Good for him. We support you."

Secretly, or perhaps not so secretly, the media really wants someone to say "Well if I see him I'm gonna punch him hard in his face with my hand because queer. Grrrr!" What reporters love more than men or women is being able to say "We're not gonna call this guy a knuckle-dragger... but... here's what he said, and here's someone else who said this guy's a real knuckle-dragger."

The awkwardness here is that this isn't what Mike Wallace said. Wallace basically said "I don't get it and can't relate. I like women. I don't see it."

You can't subtextually suggest people grab their torches and head for someone's house for saying "That's his thing. Mine's chicks." To be proportional, the suggestion has to be... umm... let's all go and turn this guy's thermostat up from 70 to 73.

I'm sure Bill Romanowski's phone is probably ringing off the hook. There are a lot of cub reporters out there who are desperately seeking someone who will say "Grab a rope let's string this guy up. Yeehaw"

So far the closest I've heard was Chris Broussard on ESPN saying he's been led to believe it's a sin, and that he also holds in his heart that premarital sex goes against his personal beliefs. Some more on that here...

May that be the worst that comes out of this.

Side note, and a bit of stupid humor (b/c what would this vanity blog be without...)

Do you suppose this makes it harder to be the color commentator for the next game this guy plays? There's a lot of unintentional double entendre in sports speak, esp. if you're a giggly third grader. Collins comes out with the ball, penetrates hard into the lane, etc. etc.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Too hard to be an I- and an O' before everything?

So apparently the Ireland-based trading site Intrade is shutting down because of “financial irregularities which, in accordance with Irish law," require them to cease operations. It's one of those sites where you can bet on non-sports stuff, like presidential elections.

I'm thinking there's a joke in there somewhere regarding weird finances and an Irish website for bookmaking. Something about the potatoes ->  shamrocks exchange rate. But I can't quite put it together.

Not (entirely) because it's racist/lazy... more because the humor's only marginal...

And everyone knows you don't go marginal on potatoes, you need to use better.

No. That was... wow but did that suck.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Thou Shalt Meme

We watched the Bible miniseries last night... 

I dunno, I think they may be taking some liberties with some of it. I don't remember the part about Noah and all the animals doing a Harlem Shake video.

Friday, February 15, 2013


College baseball season starts today. What's that, you say you don't care about college baseball?

Ya know who else didn't care about college baseball? That's right, Hitler.

So tune in for FSU vs. Rhode Island at 4 pm. Or be just like Hitler.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Can I carry around a "Like" Button?

I confess that I don't know how to process it when someone walks up to me and starts a conversation with "I thought what you put up on Facebook was really funny. I always think your stuff is great."

My initial reaction is to think Dammit, I have no use for real-world feedback. If you like something, post on Facebook that you like it. Plus, hey, then the world can see how genius you think I am!

But I'm fairly certain that's not a healthy or proper response.

Facebook is my meth. Or, more to the point, getting feedback from my peeps is my meth.

Walking up to me and just telling em you liked something is... like showing me a picture of meth instead.

Wait, no, that's a pretty shitty analogy. I need to figure out a better metaphor. And figure out how to respond when people say they liked something I put online.  Damn you, first world problems!

Saturday, January 5, 2013

How to Cook Everything (Abridged)

So, I noticed in our kitchen there's a giant cookbook called How To Cook Everything.

I dunno, we must have picked it up when were in Georgia, because the entire thing's blank except for one page that just says:

"Deep-fry it".

Then underneath it says "Serve it with white gravy."