I'm sure the cat would be the first to go anyway

The Mrs. is getting a much deserved afternoon out, and I am chilling with Megatron for the day.

I suspect that she thinks I am pretty doomed without mama being around… every time I try to give her a little food, she is very careful about handing it back to me and making sure that I eat too.

I think she is concerned that without a positive influence we might resort to cannibalism.

How do you say in toddler "I promise there's enough Cheerios and cheese sticks for us to make it through lo these hours of turmoil"? 😝

Sent from my iPhone

Also, political prisoners are made to watch Ghost Dad on a loop

Apparently China will not permit the new Ghostbusters movie to be shown in its theaters, as its censorship rules include blocking anything seen to promote "cults" or "superstition"... Probably a good idea, as you know what those sorts of films can lead to...

The four stages of fatherhood.

1. No, Megatron, don't eat your hairbrush. A hairbrush is not a toy.
2. Ok ok you can play with the hairbrush but just the handle. Stay away from the bristles.
3. Whatever, it's not like it'll hurt you. Do whatever you want with the hairbrush.
4. Quick! Where's Megatron's hairbrush toy? We need it to distract her as we go buy her a new hairbrush.

The first step is admitting you have a problem

An anonymous person has posted a few times in comments asking where I am on the 2016 republican race, though I've been negligent in keeping this blog going, I'll stoke even a little interest.

A longtime friend from the political sphere made the point, mostly seriously, that a lot of us are going through the famous "stages of grief." Apparently this is known as the Kübler-Ross model, that when dealing with death there's Denial, then Anger, Bargaining, Depression and ultimately Acceptance.

Naturally with any psychological theory like that, apparently there's controversy, amended theories, counterproposals, misappropriations... But I'm getting astray.

If anything, I was in denial on Trump like many for far longer than there was any actual logical thread to cling to. Indeed, that there are STILL articles positing a convention floor delegate revolt shows some out there are still not accepting of the cards dealt.

In my own special way I'm in denial as well. I know as undisputed fact that Trump won 66 of 67 counties in Florida in the primary. But I have such trouble believing it to be the case that a large chunk of my brain greets this fact in a whiny Luke voice... "No, that's not true! That's impossible!" Actually I like that analogy even more now that I see it, because I feel like we've picked Vader as our father AND had a limb cut off.

Along the way I had all the expected cliche glib lines. "Tomorrow I'm gonna wake up and someone will say 'Hah hah we sure got you! Okay your REAL final choices are Jeb, Chris Christie, Rand Paul, John Kasich or Carly Fiorina'." I was one of those ones who kept pointing back at history. "At this point Fred Thompson was ahead in the polls. Or Rick Perry. It's not as if Giuliani lasted..."

Trump's success makes more sense when you remember that the release dates for The Fast & the Furious 8, 9 and 10 have been announced.

— Bradley Gerber (@bradleygerber) March 24, 2016

None of this answers the question on the table, of course. Will I get behind him? Have I moved to acceptance?

At this time, I really don't see that happening. I suppose if he were to bring along on the ticket someone who is a rock-ribbed libertarian style conservative, and somehow morphed into a real CEO looking to bring business acumen to government management, and stop being WWE Hall of Famer Trump... I just don't now. I'm certainly not the only person who is looking at some of the minor party alternatives to see who more closely aligns with my personal convictions.

In a future post I will take a shot at breaking down the "if you don't vote for Trump you are putting Hilary in office" fallacy.

The secret is I pooped.

Because I'm Republican, because I watched every single episode of 24, and because I have a supremely dorky sense of humor...

Whenever we are giving Megatron a bath and it comes to pouring the water over her head, I will take a moment to shout at her WHERE'S THE BOMB???"

Not that anybody asked....

Any listicle, BuzzFeed piece, or similar "oh-so-deep" piece about Florida seems to invariably throw out one FL distinguishing factor that keeps coming up. It's usually something like "OMFG PUBLIX SUBS!!!1! Amirite? If Heaven doesn't have Publix subs, I don't think I wanna go."

Confession time. I think Publix subs are fine, but they don't seem to be anything special. They certainly seem to use fresh quality ingredients like Boar's Head meats (if you'll pay extra) and good bread. So it's probably better than Subway.

But it's a sandwich. Can you really not find any other places around you that use quality ingredients and make a sufficiently above-average quality sub?

Hell, for that matter, Publix sells everything they put on subs... but I don't hear anyone say "I bought some good meat and good bread and WOW I had a mouthspolsion from what I made!!!!!"

Which makes me think that some of the Publix tingly sensation is a Starbuckian collective communal decision to like something.