Remember there's no i in recipe... oh, wait...

Here's something I posted on my old website. Now generally, the closest I ever come to real cooking is a really bad Swedish Chef impression. However, this was fun to put together and is a damned tasty dish.

I've kept it in my original phraseology... see I used to be a really sarcastic guy with a fairly random sense of humor. Thank goodness that phase was short-lived... err...




SPAGHETTI ALA GERBER!!!!



NOW PAY ATTENTION, DAMMIT.

(cuz we're not responsible for anyone you kill if you don't follow the directions carefully!)



IN GREEDY YENTS

spaghetti (duh)

one egg, the kind that come from chickens and don't have lil' chicks in them.

*do not use dinosaur eggs*

butter

bacon (none of that phony stuff neither)

parmesan cheese

garlic salt



WATT TOO DUE

1. Fill a pot with water and boil it ("it" being the water). When the water is boiling, insert the spaghetti.
2. Cook the spaghetti for EIGHT minutes. Thou shalt not cook to 7. Neither shalt thou cook to 9. 8 is the number of minutes thou shalt cook to and thou shalt cook to the number of 8 minutes. 10 is right out…

6. While your spaghetti is cooking, melt a few Patz of butter and beat up one egg.

9. Cook a few pieces of bacon.

11. Strain the water out of the pot, throw the eggs and butter into the pot. The spaghetti should magically cook the eggs enough so as to not risk your insides getting eaten by diseases and little germie critters, but just in case you may wanna throw the whole mess back onto the oven.
12. Tear up the bacon into tiny pieces and sprinkle fortuitously throughout the spaghetti.

14. Add proper seasons. The garlic salt and parmesan cheese work well here, so do winter and spring. Don't go using, like, brandy or Mad Dog 20/20 as a seasoning .
15. Put it on a plate. Find something good on TV and eat it, dammit. A glass of milk goes well with it.