Sunday, January 5, 2014

Lines in Star Wars That Make Absolutely No Gorram Sense Thanks To ThePrequels

I'm sure I'm not the first one to do this. I'm probably not even the first person to do it on blogspot. 

But Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope is on, and I find myself wondering if George Lucas paid any damn attention at all to his own movie when he was farting out the prequels that are supposedly tied to this series. 

This is kinda low-res, but it has the part of the movie I want to look at. It's also one of the very few parts of the original trilogy that tells us the backstory.

This is from the shooting script, lovingly stolen from I'll offset my comments in red... 

Well of course, of course I know him. He's me! I haven't gone by the name Obi-Wan since oh, before you were born. Or, ya know, soon thereafter actually. (Mind you, there's no particular reason for Obi-Wan to lie about this, and certainly wouldn't be mistaken.)

 Then the droid does belong to you. 

 Don't seem to remember ever owning a droid. Very interesting...Well, okay actually I spent many years not only with a droid but this very same one.
He suddenly looks up at the overhanging cliffs. 


 INT. KENOBI'S DWELLING The small, spartan hovel is cluttered with desert junk but still manages to radiate an air of time-worn comfort and security. Luke is in one corner repairing Threepio's arm, as old Ben sits thinking. 

No, my father didn't fight in the wars. He was a navigator on a spice freighter. 

That's what your uncle told you. He didn't hold with your father's ideals. Anakin's ideals were --- autocratic dictatorial rule would make things run a lot more smoothly. Oh, and his uncle's last experience with Anakin was his slaughtering an entire village singlehandedly and one-by-one.
Thought he should have stayed here and not gotten involved. He didn't leave because of his ideals, he was taken from Tattooine as a tiny kid (by Obi-Wan).

You fought in the Clone Wars? 

Yes, I was once a Jedi Knight the same as your father. 

 I wish I'd known him. 

He was the best star-pilot in the galaxy, and a cunning warrior. I understand you've become quite a good pilot yourself. And he was a good friend. This may be true, but really we just see the scenes of Anakin being douchey and bitching to Obi-Wan.
Which reminds me... 

Ben gets up and goes to a chest where he rummages around. As Luke finishes repairing Threepio and starts to fit the restraining bolt back on, Threepio looks at him nervously. Luke thinks about the bolt for a moment then puts it on the table. Ben shuffles up and presents Luke with a short handle with several electronic gadgets attached to it. 

 I have something here for you. Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn't allow it. Or, ya know, he had no idea he even had a son and never said anything of the sort. Let's look at this one for a minute. If Obi Wan is NOT honoring Anakin's wishes here, there's only one other reason he could be handing Luke a lightsaber. It's to get him started on the path to being a Jedi, under the false pretense of it having been what his father wanted. And if this was Obi-Wan's agenda he wouldn't have been hiding OR waited until Luke was so much older than Jedis begin training... and must unlearn what he has learned.

 He feared you might follow old Obi-Wan on some damned-fool idealistic crusade like your father did. Again, Anakin didn't follow Obi-Wan crusading 

Sir, if you'll not be needing me, I'll close down for awhile. 

 Sure, go ahead. Ben hands Luke the saber. 

What is it? 

 Your fathers lightsaber. This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight. Also of jedis that aren't masters, and of Sith. I really should explain those too. But I'm sure I'll get to them later... or, ya know, not.   
Not as clumsy or as random as a blaster. 

Luke pushes a button on the handle. A long beam shoots out about four feet and flickers there. The light plays across the ceiling. 

An elegant weapon for a more civilized time. For over a thousand generations the Jedi Knights were the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic. Before the dark times, before the Empire.  

Luke hasn't really been listening. 

How did my father die? 

A young Jedi named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi Knights. He betrayed and murdered your father. Now the Jedi are all but extinct. Vader was seduced by the dark side of the Force. 

 The Force? 

Well, the Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. MIDIfreakingCHLORIANS. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together. 

Artoo makes beeping sounds. 

Now, let's see if we can't figure out what you are, my little friend. And where you come from. 

 I saw part of the message he was... 

 Luke is cut short as the recorded image of the beautiful young Rebel princess is projected from Artoo's face

 I seem to have found it. Luke stops his work as the lovely girl's image flickers before his eyes. 


General Kenobi, years ago you served my father in the Clone Wars.  
Or, ya know, what you were doing during the Clone Wars had nothing to do with her father.
Now he begs you to help him in his struggle against the Empire. I regret that I am unable to present my father's request to you in person, but my ship has fallen under attack and I'm afraid my mission to bring you to Alderaan has failed. I have placed information vital to the survival of the Rebellion into the memory systems of this R2 unit. My father will know how to retrieve it. You must see this droid safely delivered to him on Alderaan. This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope.

Is this overly dissecting one scene? Probably. But this is basically the only thing the prequels had to jive with --- this and a bit of Yoda's explanation in Empire. So why have basically everything Obi-Wan explain be contradicted?

Later on after Jedi they even make the point that Obi-Wan's misleading information about Vader killing Luke's father is true from a certain point of view... and ignore the fact that apparently everything else he said at the time was also off.


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