A reading frrom the book of Bradlediah

1 yea, verily I sayeth unto you, the DMV doth suck so. 2. Let us not
giveth unto them our health care, that they might befoul that as well.

We wish you'd fork them over

The song "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" has always bothered me.

The first verse is we wish you a merry christmas.  

The 2nd verse is "now gimme some damn pudding, and hop to it!"

The 3rd verse is "Look, we're not leaving till we get some freaking pudding, got it?"

I expect if the song had kept going, the 4th verse would be something like "Make with the pudding or some reindeer will get shot."

Honestly, it's like the latest string of home security commercials. Carolers breaking in and such.

WTF Christmas edition

A, umm, heartwarming little song by John Denver about Christmas.

how cool is this?

Okay, I'm sufficiently jealous. Apparently this Chinese (news station?) explaining the Tiger Woods crash did a CGI recreation of how the wreck might have gone to illustrate the story.

The bit about her chasing him with the golf club is pretty damn solid. Heh.

slacking

So, I haven't been good about updating this. I blame Facebook. If I post stuff there, I get instant response. Here it's been... ummm... a couple of years of self-gratification. And really, who wants to watch a guy gratify himself in public?

Democrats as Frat Boys.

You've all seen "that guy" at the party.   The guy who thinks every conversation around him probably is about sex.   He'll see two women chatting casually and come up and ask if they're discussing something vulgar.  He'll see a guy and girl talking and he'll ask "Has he told you yet what he wants to do with you"?  Etc.   This character is pretty well lampooned on the show Scrubs in the surgeon character "The Todd".

The thing is, any discerning person knows that if someone walks around saying "Hey, I think they're talking about sex.   Why does everyone always have sex on their mind?   Why is every conversation about sex?"   It's not the community around the guy that is obsessed, it's just him.

So, I think of the Democrats this past month or so who see racism everywhere they look.   Maureen Dowd's shameful article in the NY Times that said when Joe Wilson blurted out "You Lie" during an Obama address, "All she could hear" was him saying "You lie, boy"... which she followed with some gross generalizations about the South and about whites.

Suggesting other options on healthcare should be considered rather than the Democrat plan?   Sounds like racism!   Agree with Obama when he said that the Nobel Peace Prize couldn't really have been a recognition for any work he'd done?   Hey you must be thinking racist thoughts!   Tea party?   You're probably thinking about the President's skin color!

My question --- if someone looks around and sees racism as secretly under every conversation.... it's a cliche but a bit of wisdom --- remember that when you point your finger at someone, you're pointing four fingers back at yourself.

the huh?

Odorono, by the Who

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfpIYXOGgLM

So, this song is 42 years old.   It's pretty simple, I mean I'm no musician but it sounds like it's only got a couple of chords in it.  So why is it I can listen to it just about every day?  And 2 generations from now will people still be replaying Nickelback songs twice a day?

At least one part that shows some of the band's genius is the parts where it's broken up.   If it was just a regular rolling rhythm it might have faded into obscurity (which is not to say this isn't a relatively obscure Who song)... but the breaks in it (triUMphant...) make it really stand out...

Another WTFer.... hey we're a great tool for stalking!!!

http://tweetstalk.com/

So, apparently this is specifically designed for exactly ONE purpose... You want to follow someone on Twitter without them knowing you're following them. It's called TweetStalk.

Eh?

This can't end well.

rubbing elbows

Had a good time last night at the Dolphins game. Except for the whole not being at the Dolphins game part... tho even that worked out.

Went to the pre-game tailgate for the Marco Rubio for US Senate campaign.



Rubio's a good man, and a solid candidate. All indications are he's a dyed-in-the-wool conservative who speaks plainly yet with conviction... if only that weren't something so rare it actually stands out! And, if I can confess a bit of dorkyness, I definitely like the notion that Marco recognizes me by now and calls me by name :) Heck, it's one of the things that keeps me out of polyticks, some days I wonder if I can remember TLMS's name without cue cards.



Never did get a ticket, and left as the game was just starting. Surprisingly, I made it from the stadium back to Kendall in 30 minutes (err I sure was obeying all our state's fine traffic laws). Got back in time to sit down and watch the 2nd half of the 1st qtr.

Dorkiness part 2, ran in the apt, turned on ABC and ran into the, umm, library... forgot that MNF hasn't been on ABC for a couple of years. So it was Dancing with the Stars instead :p

Not on your Christmas compilation

This one gets a big ol' WTF from me...

I like the song, I like Christmas lights... but what the hell is putting the two together?

life, the universe, and everything...

I have to wonder sometimes about the wisdom of a system where everyone comes into the world naked, screaming, covered in filth and confused... and for many it goes downhill from there.

I could send up smoke signals

Is it weird that e-mailing a question to my wife seems "old school"?   That it takes "soooo much longer" for looking if she's online (on facebook, gmail messenger, etc.) and/or texting her seems the way to go, e-mailing could take, like, MINUTES to get an answer.  

Like bangin' rocks together to make fire.

The polls are dropping --- has "change" changed?

So, what do we make of Obama's poll numbers falling off?   A callous, cynical population that doesn't appreciate the wonders that Obama so eloquently offers?  Frail seniors scared and confused by the huge unfiltered public persona that is Sarah Palin?

No.   What's happening is that supporting "change" is irrelevant.   You could be completely opposed to someone's plans, and still agree some sort of change needs to be done.   You both think something needs to happen, but when they start going their way, that's when you realize they're not aligned with what you thought.

Let me explain... some examples. 

I'm holding my hand an inch away from your face.   I ask, "Do you want me to MOVE my hand?"   You say yes, so I smack you.   Are you happy with this?  We all agreed we wanted my hand to move.   Polls for changing my hand's position were unanimous.   See if popularity drops when you get smacked in the face.   Obama's administration is certainly doing that.

You go around your office around noon and ask if people would support ordering lunch.  Most people say sure, we can get behind a nice, vague, notion of lunch.   Everyone has their own ideas.   You come back an hour later and hand them all a tuna sandwich on rye with mustard.   "I don't understand, everyone supported lunch!   This is lunch."

The more vague the common denominator is, the safer and unobjectionable it is.

Do you support change?   YES!  
Change we can believe in?   HOORAY!  
Change to the role the federal government plays in how banks and auto companies and American industry operates?   Ummmm.....
Do you support having the people who brought you the DMV, the IRS, the VA, and the post office make the medical care you receive "more efficient"?    Wait, ya'll have a different sense of what needed to be changed then I do.   You weren't thinking what I was when I said okay let's get lunch.

Extreme leftist policies... specific policies.... are contrary to the American spirit, to the immutable laws of economics, and in many cases to the fundamentals of basic logic.  Unilaterally puishing companies that produce and taking money from them because they emit carbon when they produce simply does NOT yield job growth.   Beating the rich like a pinata may win popularity contests but it doesn't stabilize the system or grow the pot.

Some realized this early, some are coming to it now.   The polls are saying we never said we wanted to be smacked in the face.  

McDonalds is now Gobbledyfoobidies

Okay, so I normally don't mention specific companies in my blog, because I know that corporations monitor blogs for mentions of their brand (believe me, I know this.   I used to do it!)  

However, I gotta fire this one off... what the crap is Brink's Security thinking, changing their name for home security to Broad View?  You spend 150 years building up brand equity, you have a company name that's ICONIC with your industry.   Brinks trucks might be as readily identified with a given product as you can get without losing control of your brand like a Kleenex or Velcro. 

So why would you throw out a name synonymous with security for your home security systems?  

Broadview home security sounds like one of those companies where you go out and spend $10 and they give you a couple of stickers to slap on the windows that say you're protected :-p

you know why I like this toothpaste? It doesn't burst into flames.

More on an ad that disturbs me... Charlie Sheen recommends underpants to Michael Jordan because they don't creep up on you.   Ummm I don't recall that being a really significant problem, my underwear riding up on me.   Unless it's a really old pair or I've been driving for like a day and a half.

But I guess it's hard to sell stuff like that when your product is largely commoditized.   I mean, how often can you say "Well, see, ours are SOFT."

I do like the tagless ones though, at least that's a "development" that makes sense.

I also like that my soda doesn't commit crimes.

if yer gonna be stranded....

I wasn't particularly happy about the fact that my car crapped out its battery, or that it took me $425 to get it fixed.  

However, if I was going to be forced to work from home, Monday was a pretty dang good day to be stuck there.   Consider this line-up... two Bond movies (the first one being From Russia With Love, maybe the most underrated of the entire series... then Man with the Golden Gun --- not as good, but has its moments...)

Then, two specials on the history channel on Star Wars... one on how it fits into mythology and archetypes, and the other on the feasibility of the science in the movie.

Then Simpsons.   Oh and there was probably a Scrubs mixed in there. 

Nice to have a day at home where there's something on TV other than just commercials for how I could become a paralegal.

Drinky drinky

Whenever I order a Black & Tan, I find it interesting that the
Guinness floats to the top as it's actually less dense than the Harp.

Whenever I order 5 Black & Tans, I find it interesting that the
English language has so many difficult sounds ;-)

well you'd use it more than quixotic.

I was thrilled a while back to hear the word "Meh." had to be officially added to the dictionary.

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Strange-News/Meh-New-Word-In-Collins-English-Dictionary-Slacker-Term-Enters-Lexicon/Article/200811315152720.

I'm officially starting here the lobbying for the next new word for consideration to be "craptastic."  

Because really what word in the English language serves this purpose?   Something that's so thoroughly and completely devoid of quality, it almost laps itself and is good at how bad it is.

It's kind of a shame that there are so many examples of things being craptastic.   But then as long as they keep making films from video games, there will always be a need for this adjective.

Join the cause! 

da da da, da da *yawn*

Was thinking about this the other day as I (half-)watched ESPN SportsCenter.

Ten, twelve years ago it seemed watching SportsCenter was THE thing to do, it was practically the capital of "guydom", or at least sports fan central. It seems to have fallen so far that "I saw something interesting on SportsCenter last night" would once have gotten "Oh yeah that was awesome!" to "Really? SportsCenter? You still watch that?"

So, where do you figure the fall from grace came from? Too much corporate tie-in, "Now it's time for the Aantares.com Five Questions Hot Seat Indicator Bell"?

The departure of the likes of Craig Kilborn and Kieth Olbermann and the failure to find similarly fun replacements?

Omnipresence of the Internet?

Stuart Scott?

they should make the whole show out of the black box

Sometime, The Daily Show should do a joke where they play a clip of a politician saying something that sounds ridiculous, then cut to Jon Stewart saying "Waaaaa?" and mocking surprise. Wonder why they never do that.



Maybe when that's done we could have a movie where someone sees the police coming and shouts "We've got COMPANY!" Ya know, because that's ironic.

more (somewhat) serious blogging

Have another piece up on SFlaConservative.com, you can find it here...

http://blog.sflaconservative.com/2009/07/14/what-i-would-ask-judge-sotomayor.aspx

not our wedding dance....

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

I could so rock that shirt though.

Where's the any key?

Call to tech support:

"hi, yes I'm installing this printer and was hoping you could give me
the phone number for Jack?"

"Sorry, but who is Jack?"

"I don't know --- the instructions just say "PLUG PRINTER INTO FAX AND
TELEPHONE JACK."

Better living through bad cliches

I managed to amuse myself today by (semi-)successfully employing the expression "I am the Lorax and I speak for the trees."   The context was saying I didn't want to dub myself to be the self-appointed communicator of the ideas and thoughts of others, that it would be a bit presumptuous of me to hop up and insist I was a spokesperson for the thoughts of an entire group --- and I didn't to come out and say I was the Lorax and I speak for the trees ;-)

I randomly pepper in this crap just to keep myself on this side of sanity.   You would too after a 3 1/2 hour conference call.

Sometime later this week, I'm hoping to find a way to work in a random expression of my own.   Perhaps "The short answer?  No.   The long answer?   Nooooooooooooooooooo."  :-p

apocalypse humor

Two guys are sitting in a bar when one turns to the other and says "10 seconds left until the aliens come down and kablammo everything. What are you going to do?"

"Boy, I would nail everything that moves. How about you?"

"Well, apparently I'm going to sit perfectly still."

all things being equal...

I feel, somehow, I belong right about here...


View Larger Map

It's where I'm drawn to.

Perhaps it's not ALL that odd, I mean I did live in this building and the one next to it for two years, spent the next couple of years also bumping around that area every day... and those were four pretty great yrs. Plus I've tried to get back at least once a year for a game since then (12 years since I was a resident in that there castle buildin' there? Wow).

Plus it's purty.

when I was a child, I thought as a child...

... I'm still not so old and crotchety that I don't find it amusing to think that in hotels, the "Do Not Disturb" sign, in Spanish, says "Por Favor No Molestar".

I know what it means, but hell it sure looks like "Please don't molest me."

the road back to profitability

I have a suggestion as to how the news media can make up some of the
lost revenue they've been missing... profit by extortion.

Here's how it works... "Give us $5 or we'll continue to write stories
about the current marital status updates of Jon + Kate + 8."

Hell, I'd pay.

kodachrome, gives us those nice bright colors...

For no discernible reason, I was just thinking back to the days of Q-Zar (laser tag) and to Whirlyball parties.   The only reason I can possibly come up with is that I was thinking of Tallahassee Mall, which had a huge laser tag arcade thing there when I was a Freshman, and it closed before maybe end of sophomore year.

I wonder if those things were as much damned fun as I remember them being, or if it's just one of those things that seemed awesome because I was 12, or if they really were cool.

I remember when I was a little kid I was at the pre-school at Miami-Dade Community College, and taking the loooooong walk over to the auditorium building were these huge hills we would roll down whenever we got the chance.   I was there a couple of years ago to take a grad school entrance exam, and I see it's the next building over, and someone went and shrunk the hills.  

Must be global warming.

there we were waving Brenda Renetti goodbye

Random thought.   You know the Billy Joel song Scenes from an Italian Restaurant?   It's the one with the middle part that is generally referred to as "The Ballad of Brenda and Eddie."

 

The thing is for the longest time (oh ohhh ohhh for the longest time), I thought it was a song about someone named Brenda Renetti.  Admittedly, a lot of the lyrics don't make sense if it's not about two people ("We always thought they would both find a way to survive" certainly gets odd).   But then, it wouldn't be the first time a song had confusing lines.   I'm still trying to figure out what Billy Joe McAllister threw off the Tallahatchee Bridge.